Newborns sleep a lot.. And they wake a lot. Around the clock. Sleep deprivation in the early days is usually the most dramatic change new parents endure – but this is completely normal for newborns, whose tiny tummies need to feed frequently around the clock. All babies are different, some seem to settle easily into more manageable sleep patterns, and others need more help. I want you to know that “your baby sleeping through the night” isn’t a measure of success or normality, it is completely biologically and developmentally normal for babies to wake up frequently through the night.
There are however things you can do in the early days to encourage healthy sleep patterns and put you in good stead for later on. Swipe to read!
1. Teach your baby to distinguish day from night.
Babies aren’t born with a circadian rhythm, the internal clock that regulates sleep and tells you nighttime is for sleeping. This internal sleep regulation doesn’t begin to develop until between weeks 9-12, so babies literally aren’t born with the innate ability to sleep at night – this is because melatonin production (the sleep hormone) is negligible in newborns. Begin teaching your baby night from day and supporting this by exposing them to plenty of bright, natural daylight during the day. Take playtime outside, go for walks, open blinds as soon as it’s time to start the day.
2. Pay attention to your baby’s wake windows.
Most newborns can only be awake from between 30 to 60 minutes before they need to sleep again! Which usually looks like very short, constant sleep-wake-feed-change-sleep cycles. If there’s time, try and incorporate some play into the awake time – in the early days this may look as simple as laying your baby on your knees and chatting/looking at a toy and short stints of tummy time. With too little sleep throughout the day or overstimulation late in the day, babies will often become grouchy and fussy by the evening – hello witching hour – and this will impact their ability to settle to sleep at night. Protect your evenings by making sure their wake windows aren’t too stretched during the day and they’re getting enough sleep overall.
3. Start your day at the same time every day
I know what you’re thinking, the last thing you want to do after a rough night with a newborn is get up early, especially if your baby is finally asleep! But hear me out; your baby relies on you to learn the external cues that signal day and night, and by starting the day at the same time (around 7-8am) you’re helping to regulate that internal clock, break the cycle of being up during the night and get a full day before it’s bedtime again (with naps, of course)
4. Start with a consistent bedtime routine
In the same way that starting the day at the same time helps day from night, having a consistent bedtime routine will help to signal “the day is finished, it’s night time now, it’s time for bed”.
It doesn’t really matter what your bedtime routine entails, the key thing is that it’s gentle (not overly stimulating), and in the same order consistently. A typical bedtime routine may look like this –
Bath: Babies don’t need a bath every day, it can be nice to include it daily as part of the routine, but from a hygiene point of view isn’t necessary! A top and tail wash is fine, and it can be nice to do this in the bathroom to cement this part of the routine before bringing them into their sleep space.
Massage
Room: lights out, blinds closed, switch white noise on
Sing/song/books
Sleeping bag/swaddle on – time for bed!
“But wait! My baby is older and I haven’t done these things, is it too late?”
No!
Firstly, these are tips, not rules!
Secondly, it’s never too late to make changes to improve yours and your baby’s sleep, if you want to.
And lastly, it’s perfectly okay to cuddle, contact nap, nap in a carrier or in the pram or co-sleep safely with your newborn, they are biologically programmed to want to be close – you’re not creating bad habits or a “rod for your back”.
Do what feels right and what works for you and your family.